I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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