I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
