I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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