so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
