scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
