I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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