I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
