Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
