Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
