Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
