6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
