Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
