what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize