Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
