I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
