yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's shark week go big or go home
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
