Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
