My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
