Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She just used a chaser for red wine.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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