I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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