I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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