I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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