My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
