SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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