6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I didn't shave. On purpose
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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