thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Bring me that man meat
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
