got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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