his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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