And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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