You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
