i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
