I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
