Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
FUCK WHALES
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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