i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
