I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
