We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
