YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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