Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
