just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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