So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just high enough for therapy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
