did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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