The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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