So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
