I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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