awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
