Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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