Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize