Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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