I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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