Pappa wants mamma naked
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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