Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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