dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
