"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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