You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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