Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
