Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
